


such a stressemmé

by jeonwoniw (kageyama_tobio)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 97 Line Group Chat, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Crack, Dorms, Fluff, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun - Freeform, Kim Yugyeom - Freeform, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | Bambam - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Messages & Texts, Texting, What Have I Done, attempt comedy, but more cameos of other pairings in the later chapters i promise, chan just wants peace, i was just too lazy to chnge their names lol, im sorry i ship wonwoo with almost all of them, jeon jungkook - Freeform, jisoos is our savior, jun is minghao's hoe, kakao doesnt work this way btw, lowkey wonwoo/everyone, m for cursing and sexual ref lol, maybe a few cameos of other groups in the next chaps?, messaging, mingyu and wonwoo are fuck buddies and they try to hide it, seungkwan is playing hard to get a lot of times, the only rich ones here is mingyu and scoups, they failed tho, tons of memes, wanted to get dicked by mingyu on the first chap too lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-25 08:03:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12526748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kageyama_tobio/pseuds/jeonwoniw
Summary: yhaoi: jerry is dumbjunhoe: go back to the ancient times, you indigenous dinotwerkwan: how is a dinosaur indigenous when they don’t exist anymore?something else and leave: Seungkwan, I shit you notsomething else and leave: Junhui is really dumbIn which Carat Compound has a group chat specifically for the broke college students, living in such an expensive dorm.





	1. i'm not a fucking distilled water

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic wherein Jun is Minghao’s hoe, Jihoon doesn’t like getting his feelings for Seungcheol exposed, Joshua is madly in love with Jeonghan, Soonyoung and Seokmin’s love for each other is beyond any bromance there is, Seungkwan’s in denial and playing hard to get, Vernon is confused, Wonwoo and Mingyu are obviously trying to hide (but fail miserably) that they’re fucking buddies, and Chan is having a crisis why he met these idiots

**_twerkwan_ ** _added **weedwoo, christforeveryone, junnyaec,** and **yhaoi** in a chat_

 **twerkwan:** GU Y S

 **yhaoi:** wtf jun did u changed my screenname again?

 **weedwoo:** Lol

 **twerkwan:** lol

 **christforeveryone:** i sensed sin  
**christforeveryone:** i prepared the holy water already

 **junnyaec:** what??  
**junnyaec:** most of us here have seriously fugly screennames. stop complaining, long neck

 **twerkwan:** ohHHHHHh  
**twerkwan:** whatcha gonna do with ur boi, hyung?

 **yhaoi:** i’m gonna fucking throw him out of our dorm  
**yhaoi:** and break up with him

 **junnyaec:** i could always ask seungcheol-hyung for the extra key in exchange of some favors :))

 **weedwoo:** Jun is a hoe confirmed

 **_twerkwan_ ** _changed **junnyaec** ’s name to **junhoe**_

 **junhoe:** im not complaining tbh  
**junhoe:** i cant deny the truth

 **weedwoo:** Why did you even add us here, Seungkwan?

 **twerkwan:** look  
**twerkwan:** i met the new neighbor  
**twerkwan:** can he, like, dick me???

 **christforeveryone:** bible and prayer sessions are upstairs, seungkwan  
**christforeveryone:** you’re always welcome

 **twerkwan:** stfu josh

 **yhaoi:** lmao why did u even add him here if you’re also going to shut the hell out of him

 **christforeveryone:** hell doesn’t live in me  
**christforeveryone:** i’m a holy figure  
**christforeveryone:** pure and clear

 **twerkwan:** hao, it’s because he can stop me from sinning so hard

 **christforeveryone:** but you just did already

 **twerkwan:** i literally just said he could dick me, not that he would really do so

 **weedwoo:** I guess “sinning so hard” for Seungkwan means slaughtering Jeonghan-hyung after he stole Seungkwan’s Tressemé  
**weedwoo:** Not just one, but all three sets of them

 **yhaoi:** such a stressemmé

 **christforeveryone:** he’s not even here!

 **twerkwan:** we’ll never know  
**twerkwan:** he could be here soon

 **weedwoo:** -side eyes Junhui

 **junhoe:** shut up nerd  
**junhoe:** u don’t even know the difference between weed and oregano  
**junhoe:** go change your name to something else and leave

 **_weedwoo_ ** _changed their name to **something else and leave**_

 **something else and leave:** Done  
**something else and leave:** By the way, I know the difference between weed and oregano  
**something else and leave:** I’m not as dumb as you are, Junhui

 **yhaoi:** jerry is dumb

 **junhoe:** go back to the ancient times, you indigenous dino

 **twerkwan:** how is a dinosaur indigenous when they don’t exist anymore?

 **something else and leave:** Seungkwan, I shit you not  
**something else and leave:** Junhui is really dumb

 **junhoe:** im offended  
**junhoe:** my feelings are hurt

 **twerkwan:** aNyWAYS  
**twerkwan:** so the dUDE  
**twerkwan:** has a roommate that can dick me better than him mmmnn

 **junhoe:** you can’t just have two dicks at the same time, kwannie  
**junhoe:** don’t be too greedy

 **something else and leave:** Can’t say so yourself, Jun

 **junhoe:** fite me, jeon wonwoo

 **something else and leave:** I would gladly beat your non-existent ass  
**something else and leave:** Also, Fight*

 **junhoe:** why do you like roasting me :((

 **something else and leave:** Cause you’re a chicken

 **yhaoi:** lol get your puns out of here won

 **something else and leave:** It’s one of this things I try, Hao :’)  
**something else and leave:** I also live to annoy the fucking living lights of Wen “Jerry” Junhui

 **twerkwan:** I’M STILL HERE SJKFKLNDFJDKMSKMSJF  
twerkwan: so his roommate  
**twerkwan:** the one that can dick me better  
**twerkwan:** is a walking god fuck  
**twerkwan:** do u get the gist??

 **christforeveryone:** fvck**

 **twerkwan:** how come you censor me when wonwoo-hyung also cursed?

 **christforeveryone:** i know how a sin wonwoo is  
**christforeveryone:** you, child, deserve to live pure

 **twerkwan:** i’m not a fucking distilled water, hyung

 **christforeveryone:** fvcking*

 **something else and leave:** Wait so there is this guy who is the new hot neighbor of the block that has a hotter roommate that you want both to dick u??

 **twerkwan:** yeah

 **junhoe:** again, u cant have two dicks at the same time

 **twerkwan:** I CAN SHUT UP HYUNG  
twerkwan: buT baCK TO MY STORY AGAIN  
**twerkwan:** SRSLY STOP CUTTING ME OFF

 **junhoe:** kay

 **twerkwan:** so the roommate was haLF NAKED  
**twerkwan:** I REPEAT, HALF NAKED  
**twerkwan:** BUT THEN HE FUCKING GREETED ME, LIKE “hey I’m hansolo” or something like that

 **something else and leave:** What kind of person would name someone Hansolo?

 **yhaoi:** apparently someone like the new neighbor’s parents

 **twerkwan:** and YOU KNOW I WOULD’VE BEEN TURNED ON  
**twerkwan:** BUT BUT

 **junhoe:** lol “but but” isn’t that the lyrics of a macklemore song?

 **twerkwan:** IF IT WASN’T FOR THE FACT THAT HE ADDED “check out my mixtapes on soundcloud”  
**twerkwan:** AND MY BONER DIED SLKDMSKJDA

 **something else and leave:** I quote Minghao  
**something else and leave:** get your puns out of here, Jun  
**something else and leave:** And it’s “what what” not “but but”  
**something else and leave:** Such a dumby

 **junhoe:** you have no right to talk bad like that to me  
**junhoe:** your jokes are worst  
**junhoe:** also, Seungkwan gets hard?

 **christforeveryone:** im praying for you, wen junhui

 **yhaoi:** OH GOD  
**yhaoi:** WE HAVE AN EMINEM WANNABE LIVING IN THIS BUILDING

 **twerkwan:** i expected you to reply faster than this, hyung…

 **junhoe:** he’s busy ;)

 **christforeveryone:** s i n  
christforeveryone: wait did you just say hansolo?  
**christforeveryone:** you meant hansol right?

 **junhoe:** lmao that made more sense now

 **twerkwan:** i guess lol  
**twerkwan:** and to think that I used to think that he could dick me better than the first one

 **junhoe:** im screenshotting this convo lol

 **yhaoi:** oml do it

 **christforeveryone:** kwan, you meant the six-footer and growing roommate he has?

 **twerkwan:** uh yeah

 **christforeveryone:** oh that’s mingyu

 **yhaoi:** lol do you have their kakao ids or something?

 **christforeveryone:** umm yeah?

 **yhaoi:** aDd ThEM  
**yhaoi:** i need to see some action of this hansol dude

 **twerkwan:** wtf? you can add mingyu or something but not hansolo

 **anything else and leave:** It’s Hansol, my dear  
**anything else and leave:** And you just told us that he could dick you better than the Mingyu guy

 **twerkwan:** yeah him  
**twerkwan:** wtvr, hyung

 **christforeveryone:** well  
**christforeveryone:** i could add them  
**christforeveryone:** just don’t taint them with your sins

 **junhoe:** can’t promise you anything bruh

 **anything else and leave:** Who says “bruh” in 2k17?

 **junhoe:** me, bitch

 **_christforeveryone_ ** _added **mintgyu,** and **hanswag**_

  
**yhaoi:** wonwoo’s a huge bitch

 **mintgyu:**???

 **anything else and leave:** What a way to leave an impression.  
**anything else and leave:** And after all the good things I did to you, I get this in return.

 **hanswag:** hi guys  
**hanswag:** i have no idea who the hell you are  
**hanswag:** except mingyu and josh  
**hanswag:** but go check my soundcloud

 **mintgyu:** i second what the ‘wonwoo’ said  
**mintgyu:** sol, what a way to leave an impression

 **anything else and leave:** You made it seem like I’m a non-living thing

 **mintgyu:** srry bby

 **yhaoi:** woah wonwoo you aRE a total bitch  
**yhaoi:** this mingyu dude already acknowledge you as his baby

 **christforeveryone:** i told y’all  
**christforeveryone:** don’t taint them!!

 **mintgyu:** wait how do you all know my name?

 **anything else and leave:** Josh told us beforehand. Seungkwan is also here  
**anything else and leave:** (Plus Hansol just mentioned you, dumbass)

 **mintgyu:** ohhh seungkwan!! where’s my bro at?  
**mintgyu:** (don’t be mean :()

 **junhoe:** he bro-zone kwannie yet immediately became wonwoo’s daddy  
**junhoe:** amazing

 **anything else and leave:** He’s not my daddy  
**anything else and leave:** I haven’t even met the dude  
**anything else and leave:** Plus, I don’t have a weird kink like you, Jun

 **mintgyu:** anyone I get to fuck, gets at least one kink

 **yhaoi:** anyone who is a friend of jun, gets at least a kink

 **mintgyu:** i like the way you think, yhaoi

 **yhaoi:** ditto  
**yhaoi:** just  
**yhaoi:** don’t call me yhaoi it’s disgusting

 **anything else and leave:** His name is Minghao

 **junhoe:** minghoe**

 **yhaoi:** jun is more of a hoe than i am

 **_junhoe_ ** _changed **yhaoi** ’s name to **minghoe**_

 **junhoe:** we’re not a couple for nothing, hao

 **minghoe:** why do i put my dick in you?

 **junhoe:** boi we switch

 **twerkwan:** i just got bro-zoned :(((  
**twerkwan:** i should change my name to wonwoo or something

 **minghoe:** lol where did you go?

 **anything else and leave:** Please don’t

 **hanswag:** i’m still here, neighbor

 **twerkwan:** ew no  
**twerkwan:** i went to the convenience store to get ice cream

 **minghoe:** flavor?

 **twerkwan:** uhh bubblegum

 **minghoe:** disg u s t in g

 **anything else and leave:** 89% of those who denies and hates someone gets together with the person they hate  
**anything else and leave:** You’re one of those 89%, Seungkwan

 **twerkwan:** that’s not even a google fact

 **anything else and leave:** Do you even read books?  
**anything else and leave:** The protagonists always ends up with the person they thought they won’t spend the rest of their lives with

 **minghoe:** nerd

 **junhoe:** nerd

 **christforeveryone:** nerd

 **hanswag:** nerd

 **twerkwan:** nerd  
**twerkwan:** anyways, what’s a book

 **minghoe:** does such thing even exist?

 **anything else and leave:** That’s why both of you are too stupid  
**anything else and leave:** You’re too stubborn to touch a material that can give you extensive knowledge

 **mintgyu:** cute

 **junhoe:** lmao hao you just got burned

 **hanswag:** look listen

 **twerkwan:** no one wants to

 **hanswag:** why won’t y’all introduce your names first so we know what to call you and not your ugly screennames

 **twerkwan:** pshhhh says you

 **hanswag:** what did i do to you

 **anything else and leave:** Seungkwan loves playing hard to get

 **mintgyu:** just like you :))

 **anything else and leave:**???  
**anything else and leave:** You don’t even have an idea who I am!

 **junhoe:** okay, i’m jun!  
**junhoe:** love of minghao’s life

 **minghoe:** shut up  
**minghoe:** im minghao

 **christforeveryone:** i don’t think i should introduce myself lol

 **twerkwan:** it’s boo $eungkwan, bitches

 **junhoe:** seungkwan’s really broke af

 **twerkwan:** don’t expose me to the world yet

 **hanswag:** lol all of us are broke

 **twerkwan:** wow the wind here is so strong

 **anything else and leave:** Again, Seungkwan’s just playing hard to get  
**anything else and leave:** I’m Wonwoo

 **mintgyu:** hey minghao, is wonwoo cute?

 **christforeveryone:** he’s a sin  
**christforeveryone:** a walking sin

 **minghoe:** tbh  
**minghoe:** after all the times he defended me and covered up my homeworks for me  
**minghoe:** fuck yeah

 **mintgyu:** pic bro

 **anything else and leave:** You sound like those people in that website called Omegle or something

 **junhoe:** or those dating apps where i met minghao

**minghoe:**

****

**minghoe:** once, two months before his birthday, wonwoo-hyung got this big box full of candies  
**minghoe:** he got gastritis a few weeks later  
**minghoe:** also im locking you out of dorm, jun

 **junhoe:** don’t baby :((

 **mintgyu:** what kind of gastritis?  
**mintgyu:** the chronic one or  
**mintgyu:** a-cute one? ;)

 **anything else and leave:** I want to laugh at your attempt at flirting,  
**anything else and leave:** But I did get an acute gastritis  
**anything else and leave:** It wasn’t because of the candies

 **christforeveryone:** wonwoo didn’t eat anything else  
**christforeveryone:** not even the haribos

 **junhoe:** his OTHER best friend, jihoon, ate them all  
**junhoe:** we can’t ask for some or else death

 **anything else and leave:** Are you jealous bc Jihoon is my childhood best friend?

 **twerkwan:** josh had to pour him holy water and read him a passage every time he visits wonwoo-hyung just so he can have one pack

 **junhoe:** im not >:(

 **hanswag:** lol

 **minghoe:** wait, mingyu  
**minghoe:** how the hell do you even know about the types of gastritis?

 **junhoe:** yeah lol i only knew what gastritis is when won was confined with it

 **hanswag:** mingyu-hyung is taking pre-med

 **twerkwan:** that’s impressive

 **hanswag:** i’m taking business management and ab psych  
**hanswag:** and i s2fg i’ve seen wonwoo-hyung before

 **twerkwan:** no one asked u

 **anything else and leave:** Oh, I’m an ab psych major too

 **junhoe:** he’s also a finance major psh

 **minghoe:** money whore  
**minghoe:** he would’ve taken literature if he didn’t want a $ugar daddy

 **anything else and leave:** Stop defiling me  
**anything else and leave:** I don’t need a sugar daddy

 **hanswag:** mingyu-hyung is prob the only rich one here in this gc

 **junhoe:** well he is taking pre-med so  
**junhoe:** he prob has the $$chaching$$

 **minghoe:** no one says chaching anymore

 **twerkwan:** wait does this mean mingyu-hyung is wonwoo-hyung’s sugar daddy?!?!?!??

 **anything else and leave:** Again, I don’t need a sugar daddy and I haven’t met this Mingyu irl

 **hanswag:** i swore i’ve seen you somewhere  
**hanswag:** not in the block  
**hanswag:** like sometime before

 **anything else and leave:** Hah  
**anything else and leave:** Well, I’ve never seen you before so I guess you saw my doppelganger or something

 **minghoe:** your doppelganger is a girl from the art building  
**minghoe:** what’s her name again

 **junhoe:** seulgi, honey

 **minghoe:** yeah that  
**minghoe:** also don’t honey me, you ass

 

 

 

 

 **twerkwan:** is nobody going to answer my question???

 

 


	2. jihoon needs a rehab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kddk: bro you’ll be fine  
> kddk: i’ll be there to shovel your grave  
> kddk: and place crayola markers so you won’t be bored in the purgatory’s queue  
> twerkwan: wait, purgatory has a line?  
> hosheu: are you saying im not going straight to heaven bro?  
> junhoe: no one’s as straight as a ruler anymore  
> minghoe: and rulers sometimes have dents too  
> junhoe: //shame

**_junhoe_ ** _added **hosheu** and **kddk** to the group chat_

**hosheu:** prepare for trouble

**kddk:** make it double

**twerkwan:** i don’t wanna be meowth

**kddk:** it’s either that or wuboffet

**anything else and leave:** Oh god, Jun  
**anything else and leave:** Why did you add these two

**hosheu:** is that wonwoo?

**kddk:** why’s his screenname like that lol

**_mintgyu_ ** _changed **anything else and leave** ’s name to **baby boy**_

**minghoe:** and i used to think that my screenname and jun’s are already worse

**twerkwan:** oml  
**twerkwan:** mingyu-hyung wants dat ass

**junhoe:** ngl i’ve checked wonwoo out a lot of times and i got to say  
**junhoe:** hey won you want a threesome

**minghoe:** foursome*

**baby boy:** Oh god no  
**baby boy:** Mingyu, how could you?

**mintgyu:** i have to protect you from the likes of soonyoung-hyung

**baby boy:** you made it worse

**kddk:** LOL  
**kddk:** are you two fucking

**baby boy:** wHAT  
**baby boy:** NO  
**baby boy:** If I would want someone to fuck me, it’s definitely not Mingyu

**twerkwan:** like who

**junhoe:** like me

**mintgyu:** no  
**mintgyu:** this one-million dollar baby’s mine

**_minghoe_ ** _changed **baby boy** ’s name to **mingyu’s $$baby**_

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Seriously  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** What did I do to you guys?

**hanswag:** lol who’s the new people

**twerkwan:** hyungs ignore him  
**twerkwan:** and mingyu-hyung knows them, why don’t you?

**hanswag:** i can’t always be friends with hyung’s friend you know

**hosheu:** im soonyoung ;)  
**hosheu:** call me soon

**kddk:** im dokyum  
**kddk:** im the one who’ll call him

**twerkwan:** oh god

**hanswag:** cool  
**hanswag:** wanna listen to my mixtapes

**twerkwan:** no

**mingyu’s $$baby:** no

**mintgyu:** no

**junhoe:** no

**minghoe:** no

**christforeveryone:** no

**junhoe:** oh hey jesus  
**junhoe:** i didn’t see you here

**christforeveryone:** i’ve been lurking around  
**christforeveryone:** saving christianity and human race

**hosheu:** is it cool?

**hanswag:** of course :))

**kddk:** we are good citizens  
**kddk:** that even if we don’t want to, we’ll do it for the sake of friendship

**christforeveryone:** does this dokyum’s screenname mean  
**christforeveryone:** Kevin Durant DoKyum

**minghoe:** LOL

**junhoe:** i wish he was as cool as kevin durant when i first met him

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Wait, why did you even add them here?

**junhoe:** they saw the group chat  
**junhoe:** and you  
**junhoe:** so they forced me to add them here in exchange of their lunch money

**mingyu’s $$baby:** And you guys called me a money whore

**minghoe:** lol whatcha gon do now, hyung

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Simple  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** Add nightmare

**_mingyu’s $$baby_ ** _added **hellraisefunds** to the group chat_

**hellraisefunds:** wonwoo

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Jihoon

**hellraisefunds:** lol who’s mingyu

**mintgyu:** his daddy ;))

**mingyu’s $$baby:** You could be younger than me for all we know

**mintgyu:** that still doesn’t stop me from trying to get in your pants

**hellraisefunds:** lmao  
**hellraisefunds:** need anything, won

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Soonyoung

**hosheu:** huh?  
**hosheu:** who dat  
**hosheu:** is he the cute, amazing, fun dancer living with the seokmin guy?

**hellraisefunds:** i see what’s wrong  
**hellraisefunds:** let me handle this

**kddk:** bro you’ll be fine  
**kddk:** i’ll be there to shovel your grave  
**kddk:** and place crayola markers so you won’t be bored in the purgatory’s queue

**twerkwan:** wait, purgatory has a line?

**hosheu:** are you saying im not going straight to heaven bro?

**junhoe:** no one’s as straight as a ruler anymore

**minghoe:** and rulers sometimes have dents too

**junhoe:** //shame

**christforeveryone:** who added hell here

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Me

**christforeveryone:**.  
**christforeveryone:** did you all know about the time when the 96 liners were freshmen

**twerkwan:** hMMM WHAT HAPPENED

**mingyu’s $$baby:** Oh shut up, hyung

**mintgyu:** oh so you’re older ;)

**junhoe:** tELL THEM

**hellraisefunds:** iS THIS THE THING THAT WONWOO DID THAT I MISSED

**mingyu’s $$baby:** OH GOD JIHOON  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** DID U JUST BETRAY ME??

**christforeveryone:** i think so  
**christforeveryone:** but wonwoo  
**christforeveryone:** grinded on one high schooler  
**christforeveryone:** and he got laid that night

**hanswag:** that’s not bad  
**hanswag:** and how does a high schooler get in such place

**twerkwan:** fake ids exist  
**twerkwann:** dumbass

**christforeveryone:** but guess what

**minghoe:** this iconic moment  
**minghoe:** i’ve heard this from jun a lot of times

**mingyu’s $$baby:** let me live

**christforeveryone:** he grinded him  
**christforeveryone:** while singing the witch doctor song on his highest pitch

**mingyu’s $$baby:** I was drunk shut the fuck up  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** and blame jun for playing it in the car

**junhoe:** yeah  
**junhoe:** and you walla walla bing bang-ed someone

**minghoe:** it’s surprising he got laid that time

**hellraisefunds:** but wonwoo was a virgin when he was frosh

**hosheu:** AND HE GAVE UP HIS VIRGINITY TO A HIGH SCHOOLER AFTER SINGING WITCH DOCTORKDDLFNKSFSJKj

**kddk:** golden

**twerkwan:** did you grind him good, hyung

**hanswag:** you should tell these to your grandchildren

**hellraisefunds:** did you top

**mintgyu:** is the high schooler handsome

**mingyu’s $$baby:** I  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** I’m not entertaining questions please don’t kill me

**minghoe:** he didn’t wanna answer if he topped or not  
**minghoe:** i guess he was the latter

**junhoe:** he was dicked by a high schooler  
**junhoe:** drunk

**mingyu’s $$baby:** I deserve to live  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** I feel so attacked rn

**mintgyu:** with your looks, he prob dicked you well

**mingyu’s $$baby:** I’m  
**mingyu’s $$baby:** That’s it I change my mind

**_mingyu’s $$baby_ ** _changed their names to **kill me**_

**minghoe:** how do you want your death? can i choke you while you sleep?

**junhoe:** no, hao  
**junhoe:** it might be one of wonwoo’s kinks

**kill me:** I s2g Junhui  
**kill me:** Before I die, you’ll be in hell

**hellraisefunds:** i can help you with that  
**hellraisefunds:** and i can also kill you, if you want  
**hellraisefunds:** which way, though?

**kddk:** what ways?

**hellraisefunds:** the easy but boring way, where i’ll just drug you to sleep  
**hellraisefunds:** or

**hosheu:** or what

**hellraisefunds:** or the hard but entertaining way where i scalp your skin while your cry to your death, and no one will find out where i’ll throw you

**christforeveryone:** jihoon needs a rehab

**minghoe:** i love death  
**minghoe:** but not this way

**twerkwan:** im scarred

**kill me:** I  
**kill me:** I’m going for the former  
**kill me:** I’ll be only waiting for a few seconds for the pills to kick in before I die

**hellraisefunds:** bad choice  
**hellraisefunds:** but sure

**twerkwan:** how the hell did you even get like this

**kill me:** Idk but he does love choi fucking seungcheol of business export so much

**minghoe:** exp o s ed

**junhoe:** isn’t he the seungcheol who’s the son of the owner of this compound

**kill me:** yup

**hellraisefunds:** what the fuck did i do to you, jeon wonwoo  
**hellraisefunds:** and im even going to help you with your death

**kill me:** It’s better to expose things that won’t matter before you end your life

**mintgyu:** oh?  
**mintgyu:** i know a lot of things to expose

**minghoe:** wait wh a t

**junhoe:** mingyu, what do you know

**christforeveryone:** i thought you just met wonwoo yesterday?

**twerkwan:** i smelled drama and secrets  
**twerkwan:** im here

**hanswag:** is there something i don’t know, hyung?

**mintgyu:** well

**kill me:** Mingyu

**mintgyu:** im kidding  
**mintgyu:** i don’t wanna die yet  
**mintgyu:** i have to save lives

**hosheu:** sus pi c i o u s

**kddk:** i sense fucking

**kill me:** We literally just met yesterday

**hanswag:** i don’t think so

**minghoe:** me neither

**kill me:** Joshua, I’m giving out seven children to satan himself  
**kill me:** Will that be a sin?

**christforeveryone:** are you giving them out bc you can’t take care of them?

**kill me:** That and  
**kill me:** Because they’re a mistake

**junhoe:** you’re a mistake

**minghoe:** lmaooo

**kill me:** Yeah but at least my parents loved me  
**kill me:** And didn’t give me away

**junhoe:** wait

**hosheu:** are you really

**kddk:** a mistake????

**christforeveryone:** im  
**christforeveryone:** shookening

**minghoe:** lol it’s shooketh, hyung

**mintgyu:** my baby’s no mistake  
**mintgyu:** he can’t be one when he’s the meaning of perfection

**twerkwan:** i really sense some fucking right here right now

**christforeveryone:** fvcking*

**twerkwan:** excuse you hong Jisoo

**minghoe:** hon, don’t even try  
**minghoe:** no matter how much we slander him, he’ll still be salvaging you

**kill me:** But, I’m really giving out seven children

**christforeveryone:** go ahead  
**christforeveryone:** seven sinners down, more to go

**hellraisefunds:** im not part of those seven deadly sinners right

**kill me:** make that eight

**christforeveryone:** hell is always welcome for the likes of you, lee jihoon

**hellraisefunds:** i’ll gladly accept what is open to me

**junhoe:** you know what else is open

**minghoe:** your ass

**junhoe:** wait how’d you know

**twerkwan:** lmao

**hanswag:** lol

**junhoe:** i’ll add someone here that can actually also destroy you  
**junhoe:** so that once you give him to the orphanage too, there’s someone really fun

**christforeveryone:** who?

**_junhoe_ ** _added **jeonghannahmontana** to the group chat_

**jeonghannahmontana:** listen up bitches

**kddk:** who you

**jeonghannahmontana:** your fucking queen is here

**minghoe:** my bet is that jeonghan-hyung thinks he’s the best of both worlds

**kill me:** My head ache doubled

**mintgyu:** i have honey citrus tea  
**mintgyu:** i could give you some for your headache

**hanswag:** this is oddly domestic

**jeonghannahmontana:** don’t steal my spotlight, kim mingyu and jeon wowoo

**junhoe:** wowoo

**hosheu:** wowoo

**kddk:** wowoo

**twerkwan:** wowoo

**jeonghannahmontana:** wonwoo* fucking shits

**kill me:** Jisoo, can I send Jeonghan-hyung to hell too?

**christfoeveryone:** no  
**christforeveryone:** that’s a sin

**hellraisefunds:** that’s a bit unfair, noh?

**jeonghannahmontana:** this jisoo guy knows how much of an angel-hoe i am

**minghoe:** angel-hoe

**junhoe:** lit

**minghoe:** don’t say lit, you nyeac nyeac

**junhoe:** at least im not the only one in my own species, long neck

**kddk:** uh i beg to differ

**hosheu:** there’s this kid living with his mom next from our apartment

**kddk:** he’s a third year in high school

**hosheu:** and he has an ugly duckling haircut

**kddk:** he also looks like a dinosaur

**hosheu:** he’s in my dance class

**hellraisefunds:** for fuck’s sake, stop going back and forth!!

**kddk:** he’s called dino

**hosheu:** and his mom’s cooking is good af

**kill me:** Chris t

**christforeveryone:** you called?

**kill me:** Salvate me  
**kill me:** Bury me in heaven

**mintgyu:** i can bury in you  
**mintgyu:** and it’s heaven

**kill me:** Lord, bless me  
**kill me:** Take me with you up there

**hellraisefunds:** lol hell is a lot better  
**hellraisefunds:** there are nine circles so there’s a 25% chance we’ll end up in the same circle

**twerkwan:** why 25% tho

**hellraisefunds:** because some things are inevitable

**jeonghannahmontana:** like scoups

**hellraisefunds:** like your death too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @jeonwoniw (twt) ;-;


	3. why does everyone keep on sinning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junhoe: i don’t know how to react on that…
> 
> minghoe: dildo
> 
> twerkwan: lol dildo
> 
> hosheu: dildo
> 
> kddk: dildo
> 
> minghoe: ditto*  
> minghoe: fucking stupid auto-correct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the reaaallly slow update lol and yeah i think i told you that i really update slow?? so um sorry again lol

**_hosheu_ ** _added **kddk, twerkwan, hanswag, minghoe, junhoe, jeonghannahmontana, christforeveryone,** and **hellraisefunds** in a chat_

**_hosheu_ ** _named the chat **“I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYES”**_

**hellraisefunds:** the name fitted well with your fucking ugly eyes

 **kddk:** hey don’t mock him like that

 **hosheu:** love you, bro <3

 **kddk:** <3

 **hosheu:** but guess what

 **kddk:** yes bro  
**kddk:** im all ears

 **twerkwan:** what what

 **jeonghannahmontana:** is this a good revelation

 **hosheu:** holy fucking yes

 **christforeveryone:** i heard holy  
**christforeveryone:** wait, you shouldn’t say holy and fuck in one sentence

 **hellraisefunds:** you just did

 **christforeveryone:** lord, forgive me for i have sinned  
**christforeveryone:** i swear i’ll never do it again

 **hosheu:** SO  
**hosheu:** I WENT OUTSIDE TO STARBUCKS BC I REALLY NEED SOME GOOD CAFFIENE ONCE IN A WHILE

 **jeonghannahmontana:** wow you’re rich

 **kddk:** he’s not

 **hosheu:** i

 **kddk:** but he’s rich with my love <3

 **hosheu:** <3  
**hosheu:** but anyways, i needed to go back to the compound bc i forgot my wallet

 **minghoe:** lol

 **hosheu:** so i went back but  
**hosheu:** remember that little alleyway that’s always dark even though there’s a fucking sun?

 **kddk:** even if im passing by :((

 **junhoe:** yes

 **jeonghannahmontana:** what about it

 **hosheu:** i saw wonwoo enter the alley  
**hosheu:** and bc im curious, i followed him

 **junhoe:** nice

 **hosheu:** then he went to the curve in the end of the alley

 **hanswag:** there’s a curve there?

 **twerkwan:** i want to tell you, “bitch, there is” but i also didn’t know

 **kddk:** ACTUALLY, i think no one knew

 **minghoe:** except wonwoo

 **hosheu:** yeah and i was surprise that i lost sight of him

 **hellraisefunds:** of course, you’ll lose sight of him  
**hellraisefunds:** look at your fucking eyes

 **kddk:** how can he look at them when he’s using them?

 **christforeveryone:** a mirror exists for a reason

 **kddk:** what will he do with the mirror?

 **hellraisefunds:** hyung, don’t even try  
**hellraisefunds:** he can’t understand anything

 **hosheu:** ok ok but listen  
**hosheu:** i went to the corner near the turn and a few minutes later, everything was silent only to hear a moan next

 **junhoe:** lol is wonwoo jerking off there

 **hosheu:** i don’t think so  
**hosheu:** bc i heard a groan that i know that’s not wonwoo’s

 **kddk:** how’d you know that

 **hosheu:** im his bff <3

 **hellraisefunds:** i know him first lol so im his bff

 **junhoe:** I’M his bff >:(  
**junhoe:** but yeah, wonwoo’s a hoe confirmed

 **hosheu:** then i swore i heard wonwoo say “fuck me daddy” or something  
**hosheu:** and i also heard something vibrating

 **minghoe:** SHLTIRTRNUITT

 **christforeveryone:** I  
**christforeveryone:** WH A T

 **twerkwan:** WONWOO GOT DICKED???  SLDHJNSDKJAK

 **hanswag:** and he has a daddy kink?

 **Jeonghannahmontana:** AND HE’S WEARING A VIBRATOR? LSADKCMADKCJDSM

 **junhoe:** OMF THIS IS GOLD  
**junhoe:** DID YOU PEEK ON THEM  
**junhoe:** DO YOU KNOW WHO’S FUCKING HIM

 **hosheu:** NO OH MY GOD

 **minghoe:** wait, why is mingyu not here?

 **hosheu:** oh wait i forgot lol

**_kddk_ ** _added **mintgyu**_

**mintgyu:** why am i here?

 **junhoe:** boi, your man is fucking someone

 **jeonghannahmontana:** he also has a daddy kink

 **mintgyu:** lol what

 **minghoe:** soonyoung-hyung caught wonwoo entering the back alley and then heard him having sex with someone

 **mintgyu:** heard?  
**mintgyu:** not see?

 **hosheu:** i cant taint my eyes yet :(

 **hellraisefunds:** but you’ve seen seokmin’s dick a lot of times

 **hosheu** : it’s an exception :)

 **kddk:** i know bro

 **twerkwan:** looks like wonwoo’s hiding something from us

 **minghoe:** lol id fuck wonwoo

 **junhoe:** are you the one who fucked him? >:O

 **minghoe:** no bitch  
**minghoe:** but i would

 **kddk:** who wouldn’t

 **hosheu:** same

 **hellraisefunds:** is this chat turning to ‘who’d fuck wonwoo’   
**hellraisefunds:** bc im leaving

 **jeonghannahmontana:** you don’t want to fuck him?

 **christforeveryone:** jeonghan  
**christforeveryone:** not you too

 **jeonghannahmontana:** ;)

**_hanswag_ ** _changed the name to **WONWOO’S ASS APPRECIATION GROUP**_

**twerkwan:** so you’re into wonwoo now  
**twerkwan:** great

 **hanswag:**???

 **mintgyu:** are you srsly appreciating a booty that’s taken?

 **minghoe:** why not?

 **mintgyu:** whoever even decides to fuck him should know he’s mine :(

**_mintgyu_ ** _left the chat_

**jeonghannahmontana:** what is

 **junhoe:** that

 **minghoe:** i sense something

 **kddk:** what?

 **minghoe:** i might be wrong but i think mingyu knows who it is

 **hanswag:** are you sure about that?

 **minghoe:** like i said, i might be wrong

 **twerkwan:** so what the hell is it

 **hellraisefunds:** hell’s here

 **minghoe:** mingyu is fucking wonwoo

 **junhoe:** lolol it makes total sense

 **christforeveryone:** s i n n e r s

 **jeonghannahmontana:** OH YEAH

 **hosheu:** ldakjfmdsalfjknsd

 **hellraisefunds:** im not surprise

 **hanswag:** THAT’S NOT TRUE  
**hanswag:** MINGYU WOULD TELL ME

 **junhoe:** i don’t know how to react on that…

 **minghoe:** dildo

 **twerkwan:** lol dildo

 **hosheu:** dildo

 **kddk:** dildo

 **minghoe:** ditto*  
**minghoe:** fucking stupid auto-correct

 **hellraisefunds:** tbh im supporting minghao on this  
**hellraisefunds:** it’s so fishy

 **junhoe:** lol yeah

 **christforeveryone:** why does everyone keep on sinning?

 

 

**_mintgyu_ ** _started a conversation with **kill me**_

**mintgyu:** baby i think they know

 **kill me:** Wait, how?

 **mintgyu:** a while ago  
**mintgyu:** seokmin-hyung added me to a gc

 **kill me:** Yeah?

 **mintgyu:** babe, Soonyoung-hyung caught you enter the alleyway

 **kill me:** Shit  
**kill me:** I’m sorry

 **mintgyu:** you weren’t being careful

 **kill me:** What’d you do?

 **mintgyu:** i left the chat

 **kill me:** Wait why?

 **mintgyu:** they started talking that they want to fuck you

 **kill me:** Lol sure

 **mintgyu:**.  
**mintgyu:** someone’s getting punished tonight

 **kill me:** Oh

 **mintgyu:** yeah

 **kill me:** What will you do?

 **mintgyu:** spank you  
**mintgyu:** maybe deny you too  
**mintgyu:** and you’ll only get to come in the morning

 **kill me:** I don’t want to come in the morning tho

 **mintgyu:** but baby, you got caught  
**mintgyu:** we can’t just tell them, i’m the high schooler you grinded back in your freshman year

 **kill me:** Oh daddy please, don’t

 **mintgyu:** how about we’ll give them a little show  
**mintgyu:** and i’ll mark you right in front of them

 **kill me:** Please, no

 **mintgyu:** meet me in plan b

 **kill me:** we’re using that?

 **mintgyu:** we can’t let them catch us, can we?  
**mintgyu:** unless, you want to be fucked right in front of them

 **kill me:** But can we use that next time? **  
kill me:** Gyu, you’re making me wet I’m leaking

 **mintgyu:** are you fingering yourself?

 **kill me:** Yes

 **mintgyu:** sht  
**mintgyu:** baby you can’t come until i arrive there in your place  
**mintgyu:** it’s so convenient that you don’t have any roommate

 **kill me:** Gyu, I want you to fist me please

 **mintgyu:** ok baby  
**mintgyu:** wait for me there

 

**_hosheu_ ** _named the chat **WE AAH SI EL SI**_

**hosheu:** GUYS  
**hosheu:** I’VE NEVER BEEN SO STRAIGHT IN MY WHOLE LIFE

 **kddk:** wat

 **hanswag:** what the fuck is si el si?

 **twerkwan:** he meant clc

 **hanswag:** ohhhhh  
**hanswag:** thanks man ;)

 **hosheu:** aNYWAYS  
**hosheu:** hAVE YOU HEARD OF HOBGOBLIN SLJMDSJFM

 **junhoe:** oh shit  
**junhoe:** i thought im 101% gay  
**junhoe:** then i saw yeeun and im like, 100% now

 **minghoe:** gay enough

 **kddk:** im shit tho  
**kddk:** but i’ll tell you  
**kddk:** soon screamed the first time he heard it and watched the mv

 **minghoe:** lol it’s just like that time when jun first listened to nct-127

 **jeonghannahmontana:** tbh  
**jeonghannahmontana:** id scream too

 **junhoe:** like take me yuta!!!  
**junhoe:** i’ll even let you top me

 **minghoe:**.  
**minghoe:** see? he’d even let someone else fuck him when he has a fucking bf

 **hellraisefunds:** id like johnny to grind on me

 **christforeveryone:** jihoon? not u too

 **hanswag:** guys  
**hanswag:** have you seen mingyu-hyung

 **twerkwan:** lol

 **minghoe:** prob fucking wonwoo

 **junhoe:** tru

 **hanswag:** not helping hyung >:(

 **jeonghannahmontana:** idk but i did see wonwoo in the hall  
**jeonghannahmontana:** it’s weird bc he was sweating even tho it’s, like, november

 **minghoe:** somethins vibratin

 **junhoe:** lmao

 **jeonghannahmontana:** i actually heard something vibrating so loud from him and im not sure but he prob has a vibrator up in his ass

 **junhoe:** he should be used to it right?  
**junhoe:** i mean if he did fuck a lot of people

 **minghoe:** cough mingyu cough

 **mintgyu:** wish i could

 **hanswag:** hyung!!!1!!1!

 **Junhoe:** lol where’d u go

 **mintgyu:** im at the hospital right now  
**mintgyu:** they needed me to do the rounds for this morning so im kinda busy

 **minghoe:** lol want wonwoo to bring you lunch

 **kill me:**??

 **junhoe:** oh both of you are here  
**junhoe:** won get mingyu some lunch

 **jeonghannahmontana:** also if you’re using a vibrator, make sure to do it in bed and not where someone can actually hear it

 **kill me:** I’m not tho??

 **junhoe:** sure jan

 **hanswag:** mingyu-hyung, are you fucking wonwoo-hyung?

 **junhoe:** lol

 **jeonghannahmontana:** lol

 **twerkwan:** lol

 **minghoe:** lol

 **christforeveryone:** stop sinning!!! :(

 **hellraisefunds:** praise hell

 **mintgyu:** what made you think that, sol?  
**mintgyu:** as much as i would want to kiss that ass, i haven’t

 **hanswag:** SEE  
**hanswag:** HE SAYS HE DOESN’T FUCK WONWOO-HYUNG STFU

 **junhoe:** okay

 **minghoe:** that sounds fake but okay

 

 

**_WE AAH SI EL SI_ **

**kill me:** Why did you guys even think Mingyu’s fucking me?

 **junhoe:** won

 **kill me:** Yeah?

 **junhoe:** it’s 3 am pls sleep

 


	4. fuk off jungkook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW THERE IS A LOT OF MEANIE BUT I SHIP THEM SO MUCH LET ME STOP. DON'T WORRY!! I'M CONSTRUCTING THE PLOT LINE FOR THE WHIRL-WINDING ROMANCE OF THE OTHER PAIRINGS UWU

**mintgyu**

**kill me:** Gyu?

 **mintgyu:** yes babe?  
**mintgyu:** oh and i can’t go tonight  
**mintgyu:** i finally asked sohye and she said yes

 **kill me:** Oh  
**kill me:** It’s nothing

 **mintgyu:** you sure?

 **kill me:** I was just supposed to ask if you ate already  
**kill me:** the boys were supposed to send me there too, you know

 **mintgyu:** i did  
**mintgyu:** i can cook unlike you lol

 **kill me:** I know

 **mintgyu:** you sure you okay tonight?  
**mintgyu:** i’m allowing you to play with yourself or with someone tonight

 **kill me:** It’s okay  
**kill me:** I have an oral test tomorrow

 **mintgyu:** hb give me an oral after the test?

 **kill me:** Yeah okay

 **mintgyu:** thanks bby

 

**hellraisefunds**

**kill me:** Kill me

 **hellraisefunds:** ok  
**hellraisefunds:** lol but all serious here, what’s wrong?

 **kill me:** I know you know this even tho they’re getting suspicious with me and Mingyu  
**kill me:** But in between fucking with someone you’ve been friends with for so long, grew something in between  
**kill me:** And “friends” is a stretched-out word tbh

 **hellraisefunds:** i knew it  
**hellraisefunds:** but why are you telling me this now?

 **kill me:** Why does this hurts so much?  
**kill me:** Why do I feel like I’m on my lowest point and thinking about him with someone makes me vomit?

 **hellraisefunds:** im not good with relationship advices  
**hellraisefunds:** cause you know me, im stuck with crushes  
**hellraisefunds:** but i think you like him more than a friend and what you’re feeling is jealousy

 **kill me:** I’m jealous?

 **hellraisefunds:** mayb  
**hellraisefunds:** but hey, at least you can talk to him

 **kill me:** Why don’t you talk to Seungcheol-hyung?

 **hellraisefunds:** he’s too perfect  
**hellraisefunds:** im not  
**hellraisefunds:** he’s just too good for me too

 **kill me:** W h a t  
**kill me:** Jihoon, you’re my best friend  
**kill me:** And you’re so talented someone can like you  
**kill me:** You made so much things through music and made us fall in love with your works  
**kill me:** And even if Seungcheol doesn’t love you, you’re the epitome of perfection  
**kill me:** You deserve the world

 **hellraisefunds:** why am i so emotional  
**hellraisefunds:** we’ve gone soft for each other omg  
**hellraisefunds:** if mingyu hurts you, i swear im gonna slaughter him

 **kill me:** thank you omg

 **hellraisefunds:** im only being soft for today

 

**WE AAH SI EL SI**

**hosheu:** i just want to say  
**hosheu:** i have the cutest bf ever

 **kddk:** aww babe  
**kddk:** you’re cuter

 **hosheu:** no you are

 **kddk:** nuh uh  
**kddk:** you’re the softest and cutest human being on earth!

 **twerkwan:** can someone date me pls  
**twerkwan:** also mildly disgusting

 **junhoe:** Very disgusting

 **christforeveryone:** shut up jun  
**christforeveryone:** you and mingyhao are prob cheesier than that

 **minghoe:** lmaooo no

 **hellraisefunds:** it’s kinda cute

 **twerkwan:** JIHOON—

 **jeonghannahmontana:** CHOOOOOOKKKKEEEE

 **christforeveryone:** did jihoon finally decides to change his life???

 **junhoe:** im getting so emotional

 **hosheu:** god bless the universe

 **hellraisefunds:** shut up im just feeling soft okay  
**hellraisefunds:** someone just told me im so talented  
**hellraisefunds:** he deserves so much im

 **kddk:** seungcheol-hyung?

 **hellraisefunds:** no child  
**hellraisefunds:** he just made me soft

 **hanswag:** so who is it hyung?

 **hellraisefunds:** secret lololol

 **twerkwan:** unfaiiirrrr

 **hellraisefunds:** lol i wasn’t being unfair, stupid

 **twerkwan:** vernon’s much more stupid omg­­­

 **minghoe:** did he not know what you feel for him

 **twerkwan:** WHAT THE FCUK HYUNG IM SERIOIUSLY GOING TO KILL YOU JUST WATHC YOUR BACK BTICH

 **minghoe:** k

 **kill me:** I just came from class what happened

 **junhoe:** uhhh soonseok being soft, us being mildly disgusted, jihoon saying nice stuff, apparently his love for cheol-hyung died and seungkwan denying his feelings again lol

 **kill me:** That’s nice

 **hellraisefunds:** i did not lose my love for hyung so stfu Junhui

 **jeonghannahmontana:** lol that’s the jihoon i know

 **minghoe:** lol mingyu just texted me

 **kddk:** same

 **junhoe:** wait how

 **hosheu:** yeah

 **kddk:** lol us 97 liners are in a gc

 **junhoe:** smh we 96 liners should have a gc

 **hosheu:** YES

 **hellraisefunds:** no

 **kill me:** No

 **junhoe:** yes, it is

 **minghoe:** anyways he apparently scored a date with sohye

 **kddk:** which is someone he had been crushing on since the first general assembly of this term  
**kddk:** and it was kinda cute seeing him babble abt her but then i wonder what’s with all the constant “wonwoo’s my baby” thing

 **minghoe:** same

 **junhoe:** lol  
**junhoe:** won

 **hosheu:** won?

 **christforeveryone:** he’s not reading it

 **jeonghannahmontana:** he was online a while ago  
**jeonghannahmontana:** and im not being insensitive but soo and i are on a date rn so um no drama for now

 **hellraisefunds:** you sound like an insensitive prick right there

 **jeonghannahmontana:** oh  
**jeonghannahmontana:** just tell us how it goes  
**jeonghannahmontana:** jihoon text me if there’s something i can help you w

 **hellraisefunds:** okay wtvr  
**hellraisefunds:** we don’t need you anyway

 

 

“I’m worried, Han.” Jeonghan lifted his gaze to his cute date, who had a pout formed on his face. “Wonwoo would usually deny that he’s Mingyu’s baby, but now…”

Jeonghan sighed and reached for the youngers hands on the table, while playing with their interlocked fingers. “Me too. I just don’t want our date to end so quickly.” Jisoo nodded and clasped their hands tighter.

“I didn’t mean to open my phone earlier.” Jisoo told him and he just hummed. “But I was wondering how are the kids doing.”

“Should we go check up on Wonwoo?” Jeonghan asked. “Jihoon was being protective today.”

Jisoo nodded and stood up, leaving the bill for their early dinner, hands not leaving each other’s. “Come on. They’re probably in Jihoon’s place.” Jisoo stopped when they neared the door; Jeonghan bumped his back at the process. The younger turned and frowned at him, “You should also apologize to Jihoon.”

Being the absolutely smitten he was, Jeonghan just nodded. “Okay mom.”’

 

 ** _jeonghannahmontana_** started a conversation with _**hellraisefunds**_

 **jeonghannahmontana:** hey

 **hellraisefunds:** what do you want

 **jeonghannahmontana:** i didn’t mean to be an insensitive jerk a while ago

 **hellraisefunds:** no i overreacted  
**hellraisefunds:** wonwoo’s just tired abt something

 **jeonghannahmontana:** are you in your place?

 **hellraisefunds:** yeah, wonwoo’s here too

 **jeonghannahmontana:** we’re going there  
**jeonghannahmontana:** i know i usually sound like i don’t care but you can share to me your problems you know

 **hellraisefunds:** it’s not mine in the first place  
**hellraisefunds:** it’s wonwoo

 **jeonghannahmontana:** was wonwoo the person who said you are talented af?

 **hellraisefunds:** he did  
**hellraisefunds:** he deserved love

 **jeonghannahmontana:** you deserve it too

 **hellraisefunds:** is today soft day or what

 **jeonghannahmontana:** no it’s just our feelings that we can’t convey

 **hellraisefunds:** i’ll ask wonwoo if he can share it to you  
**hellraisefunds:** it’s kind of  
**hellraisefunds:** confidential

 **jeonghannahmontana:** he doesn’t have to  
**jeonghannahmontana:** we could get him ice cream

 **hellraisefunds:** also when were you and jisoo-hyung a thing?

 **jeonghannahmontana:** shh ;)

 

**fuk off jungkook**

**jaeoppa:** where is everyone

 **minghoe:** mingyu’s on a date w sohye and yugbam is prob fucking

 **bambambidum:** nope we’re actually not being disgusting for once and decided to watch a movie

 **jaeoppa:** what movie?

 **bambambidum:** uhhh bee movie

 **kddk:** nope, they’re disgusting

 **mintgyu:** yo guys have you seen wonwoo-hyung  
**mintgyu:** wait lol wrong gc

 **rookiekookie:** what do u need from my soul-bro

 **mintgyu:** nothing  
**mintgyu:** fuck off jungkook

 **minghoe:** fuk*

 **rookiekookie:** i hate life

 **giyeomuyeomuyeomu:** we don’t need two wonwoo-hyungs

 **minghoe:** LOL  
**minghoe:** why’re you looking for him

 **mintgyu:** i have his book and he’s not in his apartment

 **kddk:** you met personally?

 **mintgyu:** uh we did a few days after meeting him in the chat

 **rookiekookie:** lol suck dick somewhere not here

 **mintgyu:** fuk off jungkook

 **kddk:** btw how’s your date with sohye

 **mintgyu: ‘** twas ok there’s a promise of another one

 **minghoe:** wow and you used to say jeon nonu is your baby lol

 **jaeoppa:** i miss those days when mingyu would spam here that hyung is the cutest baby there is in the world

 **kddk:** he kind of does in another gc

 **mintgyu:** nonu?

 **kddk:** lol for all i know bc of soon-hyung, wonwoo-hyung’s ex calls him that

 **minghoe:** kind of disgusting but wonwoo-hyung prob like being called like that

 **rookiekookie:** srsly stop talking abt wonwoo-hyung and talk to me instead. im the jeon and only

 **bambambidam:** not a good pun, kook

 **giyeomuyeomuyeomu:** fuk off jungkook

 **rookiekookie:** siri, why does my friends hate me so much

 **mintgyu:** your phone is a samsung tho

 **rookiekookie:** i don’t deserve this kind of treatment  
**rookiekookie:** not at all

**hanswag**

**chanosaur:** hyung!

 **hanswag:** channie!

 **chanosaur:** im like going to the arcade right now. wanna come w me?

 **hanswag:** yess, hyung is taking so long from his date

 **chanosaur:** also, i have something to tell you about my crush

 **hanswag:** ok  
**hanswag:** you never told me who they are

 **chanosaur:** he lives in this apartment too

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //i think this fic is getting shorter and shorter lmao


	5. no junhui, no dick pics in the gc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update again lmao 
> 
> i is no died

**WE AAH SI EL SI**

**kddk:** i just wanna know somethn  
**kddk:** @ jeonghan-hyung, when did u start dating jisoo-hyung

 **christforeveryone:** we’re not dating!!

 **jeonghannahmontana:** we’re not?

 **minghoe:** ooOOOHHHHhh dramarama

 **junhoe:** omgm hyung u lost your chance

 **christforeveryone:** what no i didn’t  
**christforeveryone:** we’re engaged already lol

 **jeonghannahmontana:** we are?

 **twerkwan:** you are?

 **junhoe:** ommmgggg  
**junhoe:** minghao, when will you propose

 **minghoe:** lol not to you

 **junhoe:** :(

 **minghoe:** not now*

 **hanswag:** whipped  
**hanswag:** also speaking of whipped  
**hanswag:** can i add a friend here

 **junhoe:** lmao did u just change a topic even tho u say it’s related?

 **hanswag:** it is lol  
**hanswag:** he likes someone in this compound and i can attest that he is really whipped lol  
**hanswag:** he spammed me a lot of messages of how cute the guy is lololol

 **hosheu:** oohhh new ppl!!

 **kill me:** Aren’t we a lot already?

 **jeonghannahmontana:** wonwoo, how are u

 **kill me:** I have a bad headache, hyung :( I can’t go to uni later

 **junhoe:** lol

 **hosheu:** aww woo i was gonna show u something

 **kill me:** Next time, hosh

 **hanswag:** so can i add him?

 **kddk:** yes!!! omg

 ** _hanswag_** added **_chanosaur_** in the group chat

 **chanosaur:** omg where am i

 **hellraisefunds:** hell

 **chanosaur:** who are you

 **kddk:** chan izz dat youwu

 **chanosaur:** it’s me dk hyunguwu

 **hosheu:** dinuwu

 **chanosaur:** uwu

 **hosheu:** uwu

 **kddk:** uwu

 **hellraisefunds:** omg stop im jihoon goddammit

 **chanosaur:** i don’t get your @

 **hellraisefunds:** me too kid

 **twerkwan:** i always thought it’s because hyung is the payment 2 go 2 hell

 

**uwunwoo is a gayuwu**

**chanosaur:** hyung omg

 **kddk:** what what

 **chanosaur:** why is seungkwan there

 **hosheu:** oh

 **kddk:** oOH  
**kddk:** omg chan is he your ult crush

 **chanosaur:** idk tbh  
**chanosaur:** but i really really like him uwu

 **kddk:** omg omg

 **hosheu:** our little chan is growing uwu

 **chanosaur:** also why is our group chat name like that

 **kddk:** idk

 **hosheu:** idk stands for “im dokyeum”

 **kddk:** omg youre smart hyung

 **hosheu:** youre cute dongsaeng

 **chanosaur:** you two are cute

 ** _chanosaur_** named the group chat to **_famuwu_**

**WE AAH SI EL SI**

**chanosaur:** seungkwan-hyung!! It’s been so long since we seen eo

 **twerkwan:** we should meet again!!

 **minghoe:** im minghao @junhoe is my s.o, jun and i know u cause i’ve seen u in the practice room w hoshi-hyung sometimes

 **chanosaur:** aww it’s cute when you said he’s your s.o!!!  
**chanosaur:** wow im acknowledged by a great person

 **minghoe:** i  
**minghoe:** i like this kid

 **kddk:**!!! a rare soft minghao spotted !!!

 **minghoe:** shut it

 **junhoe:** heloo im jun!!  
**junhoe:** oh wait, minghao already introduced me aww you’re so sweet bby :”)

 **minghoe:** shut it

 **christforeveryone:** jeonghannahmontana is jeonghan. i’m joshua or jisoo. any is fine :)

 **hellraisefunds:** or savior lmao

 **kill me:** im wonwoo  
**kill me:** but i can’t stay for too long my head hurts

 **hellraisefunds:** just sleep woo

 **chanosaur:** get well!!

 **kddk:** mingyu’s not here but that’s bc he’s in the hospi right now working

 **jeonghannahmontana:** omg wait, chan how old are u

 **chanosaur:** uhh im a 99 liner so

 **jeonghannahmontana:** why do we have a child here

 **minghoe:** why do we have a snake here

 

 ** _jeonghannahmontana_** started a conversation with **_minghoe_**

 **jeonghannahmontana:** ok i want drama  
**jeonghannahmontana:** who’s the snake hao

 **minghoe:** hiss hiss bitch  
**minghoe:** it you :)

 **jeonghannahmontana:** ummm bitch what  
**jeonghannahmontana:**

**minghoe:**

 

**WE AAH SI EL SI**

**jeonghannahmontana:** kick minghao out of here  
**jeonghannahmontana:** and he stalked a date between vernon, seungkwan, and possibly chan

 **minghoe:** what’s that i hear  
**minghoe:** oh  
**minghoe:** hissSSSSHSSSSHSsSsSS  
**minghoe:** also no asshole  
**minghoe:** i was heading out and i saw them and they told me to be quiet abt it idk why

 **hanswag:** bc i wasn’t supposed to leave the apartment that time and i told mingyu-hyung i’d clean the house but these two invited me out to go to the cinema

 **minghoe:** ha told u

 **jeonghannahmontana:** jun why did u like this guy

 **junhoe:** hey he’s a good fuck

 **minghoe:** hey

 **junhoe:** and a good bf so, stop u leg

 **minghoe:** thanks babe

 **jeonghannahmontana:** wow i don’t deserve this treachery

 **junhoe:** lol was never loyal to you in the first place

 **hellraisefunds:** only jisoo-hyung

 **christforveryone:** debatable

 **twerkwan:** HA OMF JISOO-HYUNG

 **hanswag:** *popcorn in the microwave* im ready for drama

 **kddk:** im seeing a love story that lived so short

 **hosheu:** drama?  
**hosheu:** oh i am here

 **jeonghannahmontana:** jisoo?  
**jeonghannahmontana:** wow such betrayal

 **christforeveryone:** lol i like you a lot but pls stop being dramatic that’s all im asking QvQ

 **jeonghannahmontana:** well fuck  
**jeonghannahmontana:** who can deny that emoji

 **hellraisefunds:** i can

 **jeonghannahmontana:** shut  
**jeonghannahmontana:** up  
**jeonghannahmontana:** :)

 **hellraisefunds:** or what

 ** _jeonghannahmontana_** added **_seungdaddy_** to the chat

 **hellraisefunds:** haha  
**hellraisefunds:** hah  
**hellraisefunds:** ha  
**hellraisefunds:** fuck yourself, jeonghan-hyung :)))

 **kddk:** the disrespect w a respect

 **chanosaur:** i love jihoon-hyung already!!

 **hellraisefunds:** thanks kid

 **seungdaddy:** wtf han, i was in the bathroom

 **jeonghannahmontana:** ooh mayb jihoon wants a bath too

 **hellraisefunds:** a bath with your blood, asshole

 **hosheu:** ok before anything else  
**hosheu:** i really want to ask how did joshua-hyung snag a date with jeonghan-hyung

 **christforeveryone:** i texted him lol

 **jeonghannahmontana:** yeah you mean “um jeonghan, i really like you pls let me suck your dick”

 **kddk:** hYUNg???

 **christforeveryone:** STOP DEFILING ME OMGG :(((

 **jeonghannahmontana:** lol no that was me

 **hosheu:** really??

 **jeonghannahmontana:** haha you wish

 **seungdaddy:** ok why am i here

 **jeonghannahmontana:** seungdaddy, your seungbaby is being mean

 **twerkwan:** mE??

 **Jeonghannahmontana:** lol i meant woozi

 ** _hanswag_** changed **_twerkwan_** ’s name to **_seungbaby_**

 **kddk:** ooooommmgggggg

 **hosheu:** sol do u like seungkwan

 **hanswag:** lol i just thought it would happen anyway

 **seungbaby:** um im cracking

 **chanosaur:** seungkwan-hyung, do you like hansol-hyung?

 **seungbaby:** nO  
**seungbaby:** dO YOU LIKe HansoL

 **chanosaur:** yeah! i like hyung

 **hanswag:** thanks channie :)

 **kddk:** also seungkfjlIDMFKSDLMFJkndljkNUNKJN

 **hellraisefunds:** what happened to him

 **hosheu:** hoshi happened

 **seungdaddy:** but yeah in all honesty, who is woozi

 **hosheu:** OOOOHHH

 **hellraisefunds:** um don’t worry jeonghan just added you here by accident

 **seungdaddy:** oh ok  
**seungdaddy:** im staying tho  
**seungdaddy:** i think i know you all lol

 **minghoe:** uh we live in your father’s compound lol

 **seungdaddy:** still don’t know you lolol  
**seugndaddy:** can u, like, maybe send pics??

 **junhoe:** dick pics??

 **christforeveryone:** no junhui, no dick pics in the gc

 **minghoe:** aww shame but  
**minghoe:**

 **junhoe:** gorgest

**chanosaur:**

**hosheu:** HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT IM ABSOLUTELY PROUD OF THIS SHIT YES THIS GOOD SHIT MMMMHMMMM GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE

 **jeonghannahmontana:** omg im gonna adopt u

 **chanosaur:** no thanks hyung

 **jeonghannahmontana:** u binch  
**jeonghannahmontana:** but yall ready

 **hellraisefunds:** pass

 **seungdaddy:** i know you though…

 **jeonghannahmontana:** shut it jihoon im doing your love life a favor  
**jeonghannahmontana:** also my face isn’t something anyone would get tired of cheol,

 **hellraisefunds:** i didn’t really ask you so lol

 **minghoe:** maybe not your face  
**minghoe:** but maybe we’re tired of u entirely

 **jeonghannahmontana:**    
jeonghannahmontana: 

**junhoe:** oh me me!!  
j **unhoe:**

 **minghoe:** a good ho to blo

 **hellraisefunds:** STOP BEING NASTY

 **jeonghannahmontana:** u know jisoo already

 **christforeveryone:** why can’t i show my face when you can??

 **jeonghannahmontana:** shua baby  
**jeonghannahmontana:** you are reserved to me only

 **christforeverone:** <3

 **seungbaby:** gross  
**seungbaby:** also  
**seungbaby:**

**hanswag:**

**seungbaby:** @hanswag why did you post?!?!???  
 **seungbaby:** i was waiting for the compliments

 **hanswag:** sorry sorry

 **junhoe:** by super junior

 **minghoe:** lmaooo  
 **minghoe:** also u look good kwan

 **seungbaby:** why thank u hyung!

 **jeonghannahmontana:** i c you have a fave

 **minghoe:** :))) and that's not you bitch

 **kddk:** ok ok

 **hosheu:** we understand fully the situation

 **seungbaby:** oh no

 **kddk:** so we’d like to show u

 **hosheu:** us

 **kddk:** the duo

**hosheu:**

**kddk:** no brah  
**kddk:** not them  
**kddk:** i mean, us

 **seungbaby:** RED CARPET ROSE BOUQUET CROWD WAITING BACKSTAGE

 **seungdaddy:** I’M WITH HER DON’T STOP ME I’M NOT A PAPARAZZI

 **minghoe:** omg hsm3

 **hanswag:** that rhymes lol

 **junhoe:** sharpay really deserves an oscar

**hosheu:**

**kddk:** that’s us

 **seungdaddy:** oh yeah i kno u

 **hosheu:** aren’t we forgetting someone

 **minghoe:** uh jihoon-hyung?

 **hellraisefunds:** wonwoo is still asleep but  
**hellraisefunds:**

 **  
hellraisefunds: ** i don’t have a pic of mingyu tho  
**hellraisefunds:** goodbye

 **minghoe:** oh here’s gyu  
**minghoe:**

 **hosheu:** lol he didn’t introduce himself yet

 **kddk:** don’t worry, seungdaddy

 **seungdaddy:** worry what?

 **kddk:** here is jihoon-hyung  
**kddk:**

 **jeonghannahmontana:** isn’t he bad for your gay heart ;0

 **seungdaddy:** shut your yap  
**seungdaddy:** but  
**seungdaddy:** ;)

 **minghoe:** SHERRRRRRRRTTKMSKDMSK

 **kddk:** jIHOON HYUNG

 **hosheu:** omg omg omg omg omg o mg

 **junhoe:** gross

 **seungbaby:** HEY  
**seungbaby:** i ship it

 **seungdaddy:** also  
**seungdaddy:** this is me :)  
**seungdaddy:**

 **minghoe:** never in my life would i witness a death of a friend  
**minghoe:** aka lee jihoon

 **seungdaddy:** also pt2

 ** _seungdaddy_** changed the chat’s name to **_brohoes_**

 **jeonghannahmontana:** um no

 ** _jeonghannahmontana_** changed the chat’s name to **_jeonghan and the twinky twinks_**

 **seungdaddy:** no

 **minghoe:** no

 **junhoe:** no

 **kddk:** no

 **hosheu:** no

 **seungbaby:** no

 **chanosaur:** no

 **hanswag:** no

 **hellraisefunds:** no  
**hellraisefunds:** aND STOP WONWOO IS SLEEPING OK

 **minghoe:** i never taken you as someone to care for someone hyung

 **hellraisefunds:** he’s my best friend ofc id take care of him  
**hellraisefunds:** and before the two of u speak (aka jun and soonyoung)  
**hellraisefunds:** wonwoo told me “you really are my best friend”  
**hellraisefunds:** so suck your own dicks i got the title

 ** _hellraisefunds_** changed their name to **_wonwoo’s bff_**

 **junhoe:** unfair :(

 **hosheu:** why the fuck u lyin why u always lyin

 **wonwoo’s bff:** im not tho ha  
**wonwoo’s bff:** and stop bringing up dead memes u sicko

 

 

 

**jeonghan and the twinky twinks**

**mintgyu:** i was in the hospital the whole day w my phone on mute  
**mintgyu:** and i missed a lot of things

 **minghoe:** yeah u sick fuck  
**minghoe:** stop talking it’s like 1 in the morning

 **mintgyu:** can’t help it lol i have an extended shift

 

**sohye** **⭐**

**sohye** **⭐:** gyuuu talk to me

 

**jeonghan and the twinky twinks**

**mintgyu:** no worries lol  
**mintgyu:** sohye’s awake and she wants to talk

 

 

Jihoon closed his phone and curled his fist. His best friend doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He remembered what happened in high school, how Wonwoo closed himself in from everyone else because of some dude Wonwoo had liked. He watched how Wonwoo cried by himself, thinking no one is watching him behind the shed in the farthest corner of the field. He remained close to him, Soonyoung, and Junhui, but things have changed, and Wonwoo spoke less.

So he opened Wonwoo’s phone, entering the password he’v known for so long. Then he pressed the app, and he did what he should do.

Wonwoo might kill him for this, but Mingyu had to see Wonwoo’s more than a fuck.

 

 

 

**mintgyu**

**kill me:** I don’t want to do anything with you anymore  
**kill me:** Not especially since you’re with her

 

He closed the app, then the phone. A ring of notification, but he didn’t dare open it, knowing fully well it’s just Mingyu. Jihoon kissed Wonwoo’s forehead, a friendly gesture to keep him warm and to let him know he’s not alone. Ang instinctively, Wonwoo curled in Jihoon’s hold, drawing himself nearer to the boy.

 

He definitely did not deserve this.

**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO DON’T WORRY WONHOON WONT HAPPEN THEY’RE JUST FRIENDS AND OK MAYB THEY HAVE A THING FOR EO BUT SINCE NO ONE IS GONNA SPEAK ABT THEIR FEELINGS, THEY LET IT LINGER BUT IT’S JUST A MILD CRUSH AAAAAHHHH
> 
> \+ i may have forgotten some pics idk i tried my best to find all of them from the word file to here (like i srsly had to place it in photobucket cause i don't know the links), sucks that ao3 still doesn't have that automatic posting of pics from a copy&paste post via word to text.   
> ++ i got these pics from my computer and i'm not sure if some fansites allow the pics to be reposted, and i tried to look for the pics in their accs but i can't find it so if any of you know the conditions of the fansites i used for cheol, sol and hoon, feel free to leave a comment so i can change them :))


	6. our brove story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, a brove story, and a surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so sad to say sorry all the time so i'll be honest that our wifi connection for the past few months weren't really good and now we changed it so that it's faster hooray
> 
> idk what happened here tbh but i was hoping on getting this story somewhere

**kill me**

**kill me:** I don’t want to do anything with you anymore  
**kill me:** especially since you’re with her

 

 **mintgyu:** hyung?  
**mintgyu:** is something wrong?  
**mintgyu:** hey, tell me something  
**mintgyu:** are you okay?

Mingyu stared dumbly at his glaring phone, thinking he did something wrong for Wonwoo to get like this. Although what they are doing isn’t acknowledged right, they have each other’s consent and a mutual feeling that sex and relationship has a borderline between them, so why now all of a sudden? When Mingyu had a girlfriend on his first year in college, they still manage to do it without even getting caught, so Mingyu felt that there was something wrong either him or Wonwoo, or maybe both.

**sohye** **⭐**

**mintgyu:** hey babe sorry can’t talk a lot  
**mintgyu:** had an early break, and then i’m gonna continue rounds  
**mintgyu:** ttyl?

 **sohye** **⭐:** ok ily

 

 

Mingyu felt bad for lying to Sohye. He would like to talk if Wonwoo didn’t message him at that time. Yet even as his break had finally ended, Mingyu’s mind is drifted off to someplace else as he stroll down the hallway, hands in his own coat’s pockets. Maybe he wasn’t that great in bed anymore? Or maybe he just found out that he doesn’t really like dicks and was just putting up with Mingyu the whole time? Or maybe he caught—

Mingyu shook the thought off. He’s attractive (call him narssistic, but it’s not something he should deny when it’s true.) but Wonwoo was too, probably even more than him. Mingyu let out an exasperated sigh, “Wonwoo-hyung…”

“Wonwoo-hyung?” Seokjin, an upperclassman who thinks Mingyu is his lost son or cousin or whatever in an alternative dimension he keeps going on about after watching all three _Back to the Future_ continuously. Mingyu admired him though, a lot compared to the rest of the hospital crew. “Who’s he?”

“Some guy.” Mingyu flushed, “A friend.”

“Some guy? A friend?” Seokjin pursed his lips then let it out, looking at Mingyu, ridiculously. “Do you mean this cute guy who had this circle-framed glasses and disheveled hair and looks that could kill a dementor?”

“Uh, yeah.” Now it’s Mingyu’s turn to look at him, ridiculously. “How do you know him?”

“I bumped into him yesterday and was looking for you to deliver your lunch.” Seokjin answered with certainty. “We talked for a while and then I guess he saw something that frightened him and then told me I could have the lunch he made because he just realized that you texted him that you’re going to have lunch with someone else, then he left.”

“I didn’t…” Mingyu stopped and looked away from Seokjin’s lingering stare. “I—Yeah, thanks, hyung.”

“No problem! He’s cute, does he have a lover?” Seokjin wiggled his eyebrows and Mingyu could only glare at him playfully.

“Fuck off. Go back to Yoongi-sunbae.”

“Speaking off, my shift is over, and I’m going to pick him up soon.” Seokjin smiled wide and proceeded to take out his phone, probably to bug the part-time producer.

 

 

Wonwoo went here yesterday?

 

**jeonghan and the twinky twinks**

**seungbaby:** i smell drama

 **minghoe:** wth??? nothing’s happening tho

 **seungbaby:** ever heard of  
**seungbaby:** sense of smell???

 **chanosaur:** for a sec i thought u would say “sense of drama”

 **junhoe:** seungkwan is one pile ass of drama

 **hanswag:** is that why he has a nice piece of ass

 **kddk:** hOLY SHTTTEKLSDMKLJS

 **seungbaby:** wTF HANSOLO GO AWAY

 **jeonghannahmontana:** what is this  
**jeonghannahmontana:** who are you  
**jeonghannahmontana:** who am i

 **christforeveryone:** vernon :(((((  
**christforeveryone:** you weren’t THIS nasty

 **hanswag:** im just stating the truth tbh

 **kill me:** I can’t believe I would wake up to see Hansol complimenting Seungkwan’s ass

 **mintgyu:** hyung  
**mintgyu:** talk to me

 **kill me:** Mingyu?

 **seungbaby:** see dramarama

 **junhoe:** omg god ur dramaradar is high quality

 **minghoe:** where can we have a piece of that

 **seungbaby:** bathe yourself with the blood, sweat, and tears of the homophobes  
**seungbaby:** then gently rub away your dirt and tell them  
**seungbaby:** fuck yyyyou

 **christforeveryone:** fvck yyyyou*

 **seungbaby:** not today, satan

 **christforeveryone:** im not satan

 **seungbaby:** i didn’t tell who’s satan tho lmao

 **mintgyu:** wonwoo, i’m sorry

 **seungdaddy:** what did you do, mingyu?

 **junhoe:** omg fite fite fite

 **christforeveryone:** jun!!

 **kill me:** Wait what’s going on?  


  
**kill me**

 **wonwoo’s bff:** did you go home safe?

 **kill me:** Jihoon  
**kill me:** Why is Mingyu asking me to forgive him  
**kill me:** I can’t see our prev messages

 **wonwoo’s bff:** wonwoo you didn’t answer the q  
**wonwoo’s bff:** and it’s better to stop this  
**wonwoo’s bff:** i told jeonghan hyung abt it too and he also said it was for the best

 **kill me:** I did, I live upstairs remember? **  
kill me:** And wdym

 **wonwoo’s bff:** you need to stop whatever you’re doing w him  
**wonwoo’s bff:** you don’t know how it hurts to see your best friend suffering bc of love

There was no reply coming from Wonwoo. Jihoon waited patiently. He waited, and he waited, until he could hear the familiar tone of a chat notification. It seemed like 20 minutes had passed, and Wonwoo was still not replying to him. Sighing from his position in bed, he turned to face the wall only to tense when he heard his ringtone.

_INCOMING CALL: kill me_

**_Accept |_ ** _Decline_

****

_“Why?”_

 

“Wonwoo?”

 

 _“I resorted to the only thing that can get me close to him.”_ Jihoon’s heart ached when he heard Wonwoo choked and broke. Fuck, was he wrong? _“Why did you guys take it from me?”_

 

No, he wasn’t wrong. He can’t be. Wonwoo was obviously not happy. “Wonwoo, it’s for the best.”

_“How is it for the best?”_

 

“Look, Woo. I’m going up there.” Jihoon sighed, threading his fingers through his hair. “I’ll call Jeonghan-hyung to explain too.”

 

_“Okay okay. Yeah, please.”_

“…”

_“Jihoon.”_

 

“Hm?”

 

_“I love him.”_

**jeonghannahmontana**

**wonwoo’s bff:** meet me @ wonwoo’s  
**wonwoo’s bff:** now

 

**jeonghan and the twinky twinks**

**kddk:** have we ever told you

 **hosheu:** our brove story?

 **seungdaddy:** brove?

 **hosheu:** yeah as in bro and love

 **minghoe:** what the fuck  
**minghoe:** i didn’t sign up for this shit

 **hosheu:** well now you do

 **kddk:** okay listen boy my first love story

 **junhoe:** this seems great

 **minghoe:** omg chr i st

 **seungbaby:** im waiting for joshua-hyung to pop out

 **christforeveryone:** im a changed man  
**christforeveryone:** it is i

**_christforeveryone_ ** _changed their name to **sundaymorning**_

**seungdaddy:** i honestly don’t know what’s worse, calling you jisoos or calling you sunday morning

 **sundaymorning:** not really a problem, hun

 **seungbaby:** a while ago you were like ‘Im NoT SaTAn” what is this then

 **sundaymorning:** adam levine

 **kddk:** yo  
**kddk:** we’re talking here about our brove story stop interrupting us

 **hosheu:** yeah yeah  
**hosheu:** stop interrupting us

 **kddk:** it all started in middle school

 **minghoe:** wait you know eo in middle school?  
**minghoe:** i thought you two met in college

 **kddk:** nah man  
**kddk:** tho i didn’t know it at first cause hyung looked like a pineapple in middle school

 **hosheu:** i sUFFERED FROM ACNE PROBLEMS SORRY

 **kddk:** no need, ily anyway

 **hosheu:** :D

 **seungdaddy:** that was cute

 **kddk:** anyway, i was one of the cool kids

 **hosheu:** he was, i can attest that

 **kddk:** and so i brought my communication charm  
**kddk:** my yugioh cards

 **minghoe:** until it wasn’t cute anymore

 **chanosaur:** gASP  
**chanosaur:** iS THIS WHY YOU GUYS TREASURE YOUR YUGIOH CARDS MORE THAN ANYTHING???

 **hosheu:** yes chan  
**hosheu:** yes :D

 **chanosaur:** that’s so cutelksadfkd

 **seungbaby:** you’re cute

 **chanosaur:** what

 **seungbaby:** what

 **hanswag:** what

 **hosheu:** what

 **kddk:** what

 **sundaymorning:** what

 **minghoe:** what

 **seungdaddy:** what

 **junhoe:** aWW OMGDLKMFLKSDK YoU KNOW WHAT IS CUTE? THIS IS SO CUTE AAAAAAAAAAAA

 **hanswag:** didn’t know junhui-hyung is a softy

 **minghoe:** he is from the start  
**minghoe:** behind that cool boy façade

 **kddk:** anyways, i saw hyung crying in the stairs

 **minghoe:** on the stairs*

 **hosheu:** no in, bc i was behind the stairs

 **hanswag:** so shouldn’t you be saying, behind the stairs not in the stairs

 **hosheu:** yOU GET THE POINT SJKDSMSLA

 **kddk:** so there he was  
**kddk:** with a booboo

 **minghoe:** a wound

 **hosheu:** no booboo, bc i was a kid

 **sundaymorning:** wE’RE NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION

 **kddk:** anyways, hyung was crying so badly, his nose was so red and his cheeks were puffing out  
**kddk:** and he was buried under a thick jacket dlfmsdkjfmejs you can barely see his neck uwu

 **hosheu:** aww <3

 **kddk:** <3

 **seungbaby:** disgusting

 **chanosaur:** seungkwan-hyung, <3

 **seungbaby:** gaAASP <3

 **hanswag:** i want a heart too

 **chanosaur:** <3

 **seungbaby:** <3

 **minghoe:** omg kwan

 **seungbaby:** that was for chan  
**seungbaby:** foR CHAN

 **hanswag:** chan, kwan <3 <3

 **chanosaur:** omg i

 **junhoe:** you what

 **seungbaby:** …

 **seungdaddy:** sol you broke him

 **hanswag:** um why

 **seungbaby:** imma talk to him

 **kddk:** please STOP DIVERTING WE’RE TALKINGAJDKLGNASLKJDFAELKJSDFN

 **sundaymorning:** please listen to these two so this chat will shut up

 **junhoe:** that was cute tho  
**junhoe:** haooi, <3

 **minghoe:** </3

 **junhoe:** :((((

 **minghoe:** come here you dumbfuck

 **junhoe:** ^^ im coming back soonj sdfijsadf

 **hosheu:** so anyways, back to the story  
**hosheu:** i was so sad i cried a river

 **kddk:** not literally but he was sobbinglkdjfnads im soft

 **hosheu:** im softer for you

 **kddk:** uwu

 **minghoe:** this is honestly the reason why we drift off to nowhere immediately

 **kddk:** u right u right  
**kddk:** then i saw something he was holding so tightly  
**kddk:** then i saw it  
**kddk:** hE WAS HOLDING LIKE FOUR EGYPTIAN GODS

 **seungdaddy:** sorry what’s an egyptian god

 **chanosaur:** they’re like legendary cards or something like that

 **hosheu:** they were my only egyptian gods  
**hosheu:** and someone ripped them cause they lost against me

 **minghoe:** yo who’s this bitch im gonna fight

 **jeonghannahmontana:** hel o what’s happening

 **seungbaby:** soonyoung-hyung and dokyum-hyung were explaining their bromance  
**seungbaby:** we’re in the part where someone apparently ripped soon-hyung’s cards in middle school cause that person lost

 **jeonghannahmontana:** wow that brought me back to the time when _i_ was in middle school  
**jeonghannahmontana:** some pineapple beat me in the games with four egyptian cards and im so fucked up and mad that i shredded them to pieces  
**jeonghannahmontana:** that person didn’t deserve it  
**jeonghannahmontana:** but i also didn’t deserve that

 **hosheu:** i

 **kddk:** omgl wHATWSRD

 **sundaymorning:** h-han???

 **minghoe:** omg speaking of the devil

 **hanswag:** hyung what school did you study in middle school

 **jeonghannahmontana:** uhhh rose district middle school y

 **kddk:** JKDLNSLJKNFKJSFNJK  
**kddk:** YOU

 **jeonghannahmontana:** me

 **hosheu:** WAIT HYUNG  
**hosheu:** WERE YOU THAT DUDE WHO HAS CHOPPED EMO HAIR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

 **jeonghannahmontana:** omg i had a phase  
**jeonghannahmontana:** also stop calling it emo hair it was a trend

 **hosheu:** hYUNG  
**hosheu:** I WAS THAT DUDE WHO OWNS 4 EGYPTIAN CARDS WHO YOU RIPPED

 **jeonghannahmontana:** omg  
**jeonghannahmontana:** sorry bout that but at least you found love

 **kddk:** i swore to soonyoung-hyung to destroy you  
**kddk:** and also thank you for letting me meet him ^^

 **jeonghannahmontana:** you can’t do that, kyummie  
**jeonghannahmontana:** you love hyung so much for that

 **kddk:** i  
**kddk:** ngl but he’s kind of telling the truth

 **hosheu:** wh—

 **kddk:** not as much as I love hoshi-hyung <3 <3

 **minghoe:** well that escalated quickly

 **seungbaby:** what kind of reunion is this

 **chanosaur:** omg wait so grandmama is the destroyer of all four egyptian cards soonyounh-hyung owns

 **junhoe:** GRANDmAMA SMOSSKNLS

 **jeonghannahmontana:** WHATDNSKJLKJA

 **sundaymorning:** does this mean im the grandpa

 **jeonghannahmontana:** honestly, you’re a sub soo i can deny that

 **sundaymorning:** wh—

 **hanswag:** CHAN  
**hanswag:** you’re back  
**hanswag:** you ok?

 **chanosaur:** yes hyung <3

 **seungbaby:** <3

 **chanosaur:** <3

 **hanswag:** well ok then <3

 **junhoe:** are u three together or smtn or what

 **hanswag:** I honest to god have know idea what’s going on

 **chanosaur:** nope

 **seungbaby:** at least not us three

 **chanosaur:** not yet

 **jeonghannahmontana:** LKJDNLJSDKJD WHATT

 **minghoe:** I M SASAdDWDWdsdawQfsavgDKW

 **hanswag:** wait

 **hanswag:** chan, kwan what do you mean

 **chanosaur:** ^^

 **seungbaby:** ^^

 

**_seungbaby_ ** _added **hanswag** and **chanosaur** in a chat_

**_chanosaur_ ** _named the chat_ _⭐ **cuties**_ _⭐_

**seungbaby:** welcome hansol

 **chanosaur:** would you accept to be in a poly w me and seungkwan-hyung?

**Author's Note:**

> help this child
> 
> twt: @jeonwoniw


End file.
